


As It Goes

by Thebigbadwolfandlittlered



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5 stages of loss, Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:06:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3790870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebigbadwolfandlittlered/pseuds/Thebigbadwolfandlittlered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is leaving, and Stiles tells him what he knows of loss. That he understands Derek's pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As It Goes

**Author's Note:**

> So yo, I totally wrote this for my health class for the 5 steps of grief and loss. I wrote it in like an hour and I only read through it once, so as usual there's like 20 million mistakes so just pretend they're not there and we'll all be happy.
> 
> Also I'm in denial that Derek is leaving this season so w/e

Derek looked down at his hands and his shoulders were tense but resigned. Like he had the weight of the world on them and he had long since given up on trying to carry it. He sighed and closed his eyes as if trying to find a place to start.

“Derek, why are you leaving?” Stiles asked again for what was probably the fifth time.

“Do you know what it’s like to lose everything, Stiles?”

And yeah. He does.

* * *

**Denial**

Stiles moved a chair to look outside the living room window. His feet barely scraping the floor as he swung them back and forward. He kept his eyes on the driveway waiting for his mom to come home. It was coming up onto 4:30 and she’d be home any second now.

His dad looked on from the entrance to the living room, tears filling his eyes as he saw his ten year old son still wearing black from the funeral waiting for a mom that wouldn’t ever be coming back home.

“Stiles, come on. Let’s get you changed.” He spoke quietly, as if speaking too loud would break something fragile between them.

“She’ll be home any second now, dad.” Stiles wouldn’t look away from the window and it broke John’s heart all over again.

He gave Stiles another ten minutes before he went over and picked Stiles up holding his screaming and wailing child in his arms as he took him upstairs and into his bed. It was a tight fit; the two of them on Stiles’ tiny bed, but Stiles wouldn’t sleep without him and John wasn’t ready to sleep alone yet.

**Anger**

“Sheriff Stilinski, we have your son in the principal's office.” John hung his head and took a deep breath.

“What for?” John was tired. Very tired.

“He punched another child.”

He had raced over to the school to see three boys sitting in the office. His son being one of them. Upon his arrival the other two started speaking, or more like yelling.

“Mr. Stiles’ dad he deserved it! He was being mean!”

“My dad’s coming and he’s a lawyer!”

Stiles was the only one who didn’t say anything. John turned to look at his son, but he was keeping his eyes firmly on the floor.

“What happened, Stiles?” John asked as he crouched down. The other two opened their mouth to answer, “I asked Stiles.” He said softly, but still firmly.

“Jackson had all the markers, and I asked him for a blue one and he said no. And then he took the only marker Scott had and I told him he was being mean and then- and then he said my mom was being mean and she’s- she’s really nice!” Stiles’ look moved over to Jackson who was sitting and holding his bruising cheek and he got up as if he was going to go hit him again, but John held him there gently by the shoulders. “I hate you, Jackson! Dad let me go, he was being mean! He was being a bad guy, you beat up bad guys all the time- let me go, dad!” He just pulled Stiles closer to his chest and Stiles started hitting him and John felt so lost. Claudia would’ve been able to handle this so much better then him. He picked Stiles up who was crying at this point and made eye contact with the principle hoping to convey he was taking his son home, and there was nothing else to it.

**Bargaining**

Stiles sat in front of his mother’s grave. She had died about a year ago and he still felt that pain every second of everyday. He looked from the cold stone reading her name up to the sky. It was bright and sunny and all it managed to do was piss Stiles off. He felt so dark inside, and all he wanted was his mom.

“What am I supposed to do now?” He said out loud. “I’ve been trying to do this without her, but I can’t.” He looked back down at the ground. “I just can’t.” It came out more of a whisper. “What do I have to do to get her back? I’ll- I’ll do anything. I’ll be good all year, I’ll stop hitting kids. I’ll be friends with Jackson, I’ll stop eating ice cream in the middle of the night, what do I have to do?!” He sat there and cried until he couldn’t anymore and just walked home after.

The ice cream in the freezer went bad.

**Depression**

“Stiles, Scott is here.” His dad said after he knocked lightly on his door.

“Go away.” Was the only thing he replied with. He didn’t want to see anyone. He didn’t want to leave bed, he didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to be left alone.

“You can’t stay in bed forever, son.” His dad said trying to be as kind about it as possible and it just made Stiles feel worse. Now he was just worrying his dad.

“Tell Scott to go away.” He called out and then hid under the covers. The door opened a crack and Stiles hated his dad just a bit because it was Scott.

“I brought Mulan. If you wanna watch it maybe. I know it makes you feel better.” Scott said quietly and skittish. “Or I can go home. But we don’t have to talk. We can just watch it.” Stiles peeked his head out from under his covers and looked at Scott.

“Okay.”

Scott didn’t need to be told twice.

**Acceptance  
**

“It never stops hurting. It just hurts less and less every year.” Stiles said as he looked up at the sky with Scott. Scott was sniffling but Stiles wasn’t going to point it out. “I know losing Allison isn’t the same as losing my mom, but we both loved them. It still hurts. You’ve just got to keep going until eventually, you can function. Until it doesn’t hurt with every step. Until you can talk about her without your voice breaking. You’ve just got to keep going and fill your life with people she would love just as much.”

“It feels like I’ve been stabbed. And I’ve actually been stabbed so I can make the comparison.” Scott said with next to no emotion.

“You’ll make it, man. I know you, Scott. You can do this. You’ve got us. The pack. We’re not going anywhere.”

“Thanks, Stiles.”

“Always, bro.”

* * *

“I’ll come back.” Derek says as he looks up at Stiles. Stiles just shakes his head trying to keep tears from falling. “Hey,” Derek says softly and grabs Stiles’ wrist to get his attention, and Derek really has come a long way since they all first found each other. “I will be back, Stiles. This isn’t forever. I need to find the acceptance you found. And I can’t do it here. This is something I need to do on my own.”

“Do you promise?” Stiles asks, his voice cracking at the end.

“I promise. You won’t need to grieve over me.”

**Two years later.**

Stiles was running through the woods trying to get away from the werewolf chasing him. Then just because of his luck, he tripped over a root and fell down straight to the forest floor. He flipped onto his back and saw the werewolf get closer with her teeth bared and Stiles prepared himself for his total demise thanks to a freaking tree root when a big black actual wolf barreled into her side and Stiles looked away as she met her own bloody death. He heard the sound of skin shifting and bones resetting before he looked back and saw a man standing where the wolf was.

“I told you I’d be back. I promised.”

Stiles’ answering smile is blinding.

 


End file.
